Gethsemane

I am telling you, I cannot stay away from songs!

Let's get real, it is Sunday which means I listen to Sunday music.  This is especially true on Conference Sunday.  It is like I want extra lots of goodness inside of me to load up for the week to come.

I drove up to my parent's house today (I know, totes presh) and on the way back with my sister tonight after ranting and raving about things that are probably not okay to post on the internet (look, I do have a filter sometimes) I put this song on.  There is something about it that just reaches out and soothes my soul.

I remember the first time I ever heard this song.  I was a lonely missionary.  I was serving with the ever lovely Sister Abby Holt and I was as sick as all get out.  I had an infected gall bladder that no one would diagnose and so we diligently pushed on, serving the Lord to the best of my capabilities.  I am sure that the work would have been so much different in that area at that time if Sister Holt had served with any other Sister, but the Lord put us together for many reasons.  One, she was my brain half.  Two, she always knew how to take care of me.  More than any of that, she loves unconditionally and I was sorely in need of that.

Anyway, we put this CD in after a very trying day I am sure, and when this song came on I BAWLED.  Like literally sobbing in the car.  I remember thinking "It doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter that I feel sick or what ANYONE thinks of me right now, my Savior suffered and died so that He could know what I am feeling.  He has been there through it all so that he would know what this moment and every other difficult moment ever in my life feels like".  And after that, even though my mission was like a personal Gethsemane and even though I have had many days where I just wanted to give up, I know that I can't.  My Savior literally lived and died for me.  He suffered and bled to know what I am going through.  He knows me individually and He loves me individually.

So, if today is a "Gethsemane" day for you, or if you have one in the future, listen to this song.  Let it heal your heart just a little bit.  There is something powerful in the juxtaposition of the idea of me watching the Savior suffer and then later, Him having to watch me suffer.  The gratitude that is evident throughout the song helps me remember that I do have so much to be grateful for.

Let Him heal you.  Be willing to let Him in.  No matter how big or small your burden may seem, He is always willing to carry it.

#ldsconf

Don't get me wrong, I truly do love General Conference.  There is something exciting about laying around in my pajamas for two days listening to counsel from the Living Prophets.  Sorry, that sounds sacrilegious.  I really do listen, honest.  I just love that this part of my worship does not require me dressing to the nines in order to do so.  But I digress.

The last few years I have missed out on at least one session of conference for one reason or another.  However, surprisingly, this time around I was able to listen to almost every single second of all the sessions of conference.  I loved it.  My friend Sara and I kept texting back and forth asking each other how the General Authorities could have known that we needed to hear those exact words spoken this weekend because they kept talking about things we had been talking about earlier in the week.  

However, one of the best parts of conference for me was the #LDSconf on twitter.  Seriously, I could hear some amazing quote, then pop on twitter and like it instantly.  No more waiting for the ensign.  None of this waiting for someone to hopefully make some cute printable and post it on Pinterest.  No.  I could use the church's social media feed to instantly have access to thousands of powerful one liners that one day I will look back on and be grateful for.  

Thank you social media for helping me continue to be inspired by the words of our Living Prophets.