UGH

Today's word of the day is ugh. I hurt. This is not unusual, as lately my back has decided to secede from the union and is currently waging war on the rest of me. Or, in other words, it's freaking out and I don't know what to do. So I generally pretend that it doesn't exist. Today this is not working. It is if three or four other parts of my body are joining my back and recreating the Civil War as I sit at my desk at work and pretend that I look super cute. So, dear world, I am in pain. I want to cry. Actually, I want to go back to bed and see if a couple more hours of sleep will help my body calm down and do what it is supposed to. But none of those things are options. So I will be brave. But please pray that I'll feel better soon. I can use all the help I can get.

Confession...

I have a secret to confess. Sometimes I think that life is not fair. Really, really, really unfair. I think of all the dreams I had when I was little and how those dreams are never going to be realized. And then I stop and think of all of the new dreams I have now...and how I am MAKING those dreams happen. I am doing what I can to reach my dreams, and then I let God come in and make up the difference. I have been realizing more and more that our Savior's role as the Savior and Redeemer of mankind involves so much more than just his ability to forgive us of our sins. He is our Best Friend. He is there to comfort us in times of pain, of sorrow, of frustration, whatever it may be. He is there to celebrate with us when things go well. If you don't believe me, check out Alma 7:11-13. Isn't it nice to know that even when there is no one else you can turn to here, that you can turn to Him? That he is always ready to listen to your troubles and comfort you when you need comfort? I don't know if I could ask for a better Best Friend.

Bottled Up

Dear World...

There are a lot of emotions inside of me. They are all bottled up. Mostly because I don't have someone to share them with. Also because, and this is true, the people I do have that I could talk with don't want to hear some of the things I need to get out. So, if I suddenly explode in a mass of mangled up emotions, please bear with me. I'm working on it. I'm working through it. I'm smiling and finding joy. But there still is that part of me that longs to just spill my guts to someone who wants to listen to what I have to say.

Why is it so hard for us as human beings to listen to one another. To REALLY listen to what people are saying. To try to understand where they are coming from and what they are trying to get across. So often we hear only words and don't listen for the emotion attached to them. Or we chose to focus only on ourselves and not on others. My goal is to truly listen. To be the kind of person that you could talk to, the kind of person whose shoulder you can cry on. I can't give advice...I can't. But I can listen, sympathize, and then tell you a joke and make you laugh.

Have you ever noticed that laughing can make anything better. Oh, not all the way better, mind you, but it can take a hard day or a difficult situation and make it bearable. It can help you notice your blessings instead of your trials. So please, don't forget to laugh.

See...I told you I've been keeping things bottled up...