You know, I never imagined coming home for surgery...I didn't. And then, when I did realize that I would have to leave my mission and have to have one of my internal organs not-so-lovingly separated from me...i thought, okay, this is just another step on my journey of my mission. It's been a bumpy road...there's no denying that fact. But somehow I've made it through. And here I am...less than 48 hours away from leaving home once more...and I'm still as scared as I was the first time. Honestly, I have no idea why. My good friend Lynette tells me that I don't need to be scared because I'm just so awesome. I guess that's part of what scares me...what if I'm not awesome enough? What if I don't measure up? What if I am still not the missionary that my mission president and his wife want me to be. I mean, I am the missionary I want me to be...but is that good enough for everyone? I've got about ten months left. Can I be the missionary that the Lord wants...that He needs?
This is why it is so hard.
