Pleurisy

I have pleurisy. This means the lining of my chest and lungs is inflamed. And in pain. Yup, I go in to the MTC on Wednesday. And I visited the ER on Monday. It's been quite the week for me. Keep sending up those prayers!

In other news...yeah, I got nothing. I have a cold. It hurts. I try not to whine. the end.

Soon, this blog will be a weekly log of my mission adventures, are you as excited as I am? because you should be!!!!

Three Weeks

I enter the MTC three weeks from today. Am I panicked? Yes. Oh yes you bet I am. I don't know if I am going to get everything done in time. I am worried that I am not going to be good enough. That I won't be the kind of missionary that the Lord needs. I am trying to put it in His hands. But it is hard. So please pray for me. Thanks.

Thank You Cougars

I am sitting here watching my cougars play like the team they were last season. Thank you Cougars.

Tuesdays with Morrie

Last Saturday, I went and saw the most amazing play I've EVER seen, sorry Willden. BYU put on a beautiful show called Tuesdays with Morrie and I was blown away. It is a story about life and death, living and loving, mostly taking the time to learn. To listen. To experience life and not just let it pass you by. I've been thinking about this post for a while now because I wanted to get it just right. I wanted to make sure that I said what I waned to say.

Never in my life have I felt so moved by a piece of art. I cried through the entire thing. You know from the beginning that Morrie is going to die. What you don't know is that he is not only going to teach Mitch how to be a better person, but he is going to teach you too.

I am going to take advantage of every moment. To be silly sometimes. To be serious sometimes. To love with my whole heart. To never give up on myself. To let the people around me know that I care. To help others know who I am and what I know to be true. I want to be like Morrie. I want to be able to face my last days on this earth knowing that I lived a good life, that I was a good person and that I left my mark on the world. I want to be able to face my Father in Heaven knowing that I did the things I needed to do, that I was the daughter that he needed me to be.

So, thank you BYU, for giving me Tuesdays with Morrie so that my life could be changed.

Pain

Pain comes in all shapes and sizes. It can be physical. It can be emotional. But it always hurts. Tonight I am hurting. I have a migraine the size of Canada pushing in on my brain. Why? Because I had an emotional breakdown today. I stopped holding in all of the pain and just let it out. Pain over having to leave my job. Pain over not going to school this semester. Pain over losing one of the best friends I have ever had. Pain over being slowly let go by another. Pain over having two months before I am leaving my family for 18 months. Pain over the cyst that is currently causing me colossal pain in my side. Pain because I haven't just cried a little bit as each of these things has happened. Pain from stupid-face Satan and his need to pick on me every single moment of every single day since I opened that big white envelope. So I cried. Buckets and buckets of tears. Then I went to the temple and cried because of the peace I felt. Then I came home and had a phone call that set me off crying again. I am tired of the pain. I am tired of feeling like someone else's emotional and physical punching bag. It is really getting old.

Woulda Shoulda Coulda

I lied. I should have checked facebook first. I want to pretend like life is fine, but it's not. I'm losing one of my best friends. It sucks. Things are never going to be the same. And I can't do ANYTHING to fix this one. Normally I can go and apologize or bring cookies or do SOMETHING but this time, I can't make it better. I can't come in and make things work out the way I want. I just want to fix it and make everyone happy but I can't. It's just not possible this time. So, sorry if I'm a little out of it lately...

A Walk in the Grass

I just walked in the grass. In Summertime. At night. Somehow, everything is going to come out all right.

Pain

Dear Back,

Please stop being in pain. When you are, everything else in life suddenly gets harder. I don't want to move. I want to just crawl into bed and wait it out. But, alas, I can't. Life goes on. And, eventually, you'll stop hurting.

Love,

Princess Megan

Not so romantic

Tonight I sat outside...looking at the stars. Eating frozen yogurt. Straight out of the carton. Alone. I know what you were thinking...Awww, how romantic! Then you read I was alone. That's how I felt too. Lately my life has been a series of moments that would be incredibly cute...if they were shared by a couple instead of just by me. And no one else. Welcome to how I got to be 21 and have never held a boy's hand.

I discovered tonight, though, that I don't mind it as much anymore. I wouldn't have been eating straight out of the carton if I had been with a boy. Heavens, I wouldn't have been eating frozen yogurt period.

If I had a boyfriend I wouldn't be going to bed by eleven each night...I would probably be out doing something with him instead. I rather enjoy going to bed early...it makes me happy instead of cranky which I know everyone around me enjoys.

If I had a boyfriend I may not have put in my mission papers. I would be attending BYU in the fall which, oddly enough, would have extended my graduation by at least a semester.

If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't have as much fun at wedding receptions. I wouldn't be able to sit and talk with my close girlfriends. And, who knows, I may not be as close with some of my guy friends.

So, at this point in my life, I'm okay with not having a boy. I took the time and found the positive. I should try that more often... ;)

Full

I'm so full of emotions right now I don't know what to do with myself. I'm going on a mission. I really truly am going on a mission!!

I'm a bundle full of
Joy
Anticipation
Nerves
Fear (a little bit...this is a new experience for me)
Jitters
Emotions
Testimony
Faith
Excitement


And some starbursts. They're inside me too. And that banana I ate for breakfast...

I'm going to the Washington DC South Mission.

I report to the MTC on November 3

I'll be speaking English (insert eternal gratitude here)