Uuunghrhhrhgh

Why yes, that is the sound of pain.  Why you may ask is it a blog title?  Because lately it is the theme of my life. Am I in pain tonight?  Yes I am...I decided to eat an amazingly delicious dinner...mmmm sooo good... but I have failed to learn the lesson that my body is trying to tell me.

What is this lesson?

Food=Pain.

Lately, it doesn't matter what I eat.  Food=Pain.

I miss the days when I could eat food and say, hey, I am lovin this moment here.  I was born to be a curvacious girl and I have loved it.  I love food.  If I could, I would marry the person who invented cheesecake.  And ice cream.  And blackened chicken pasta...man, I'd have a lot of husbands.

But now, food and I are waging one epic war.  Not a war like my dear friend Celeste, who is battling an epic battle against lymphoma.  No, she wins hands down.  I have no right to complain about my health woes...she wins.

I'm just sayin...I'm in a food fight quite literally.  Ask anyone, my stomach makes the WEIRDEST noises.

And so tonight, as I sit in my room and try to study, I mumble uuuunghrrhhhrhhrhrhghghghghghg  and listen to my intestines reply "gurglebubblebubblegurglemoaaaaaannnn."

It's a weird place to be my friends. weird.

Old Spice

I love the smell of Old Spice.  For serious.  It's like the smell of amazing and attractive man and happiness all wrapped up in one.  So what have I done about this love?  Bought myself Old Spice Deodorant (it's the Fresh scent in case you were curious) so that I can smell amazingattractivemanhappiness all the time.  Oh yeah.

Best part?  Here's what the back of my deoderant says: "Contains odor-fighting 'atomic robots' that 'shoot lasers' at your 'stench monsters' and replaces them with fresh, clean, masculine 'scent elves'." Find me a lady deodorant that can do that.

Pause

Sometimes I wish that life came with a pause button.  Like on the days when the weather is perfect and you just want to slow down and enjoy it instead of studying or working or doing whatever this crazy life of ours requires of us.  Or on the days when everything goes wrong and you just want to find a hole to crawl into, pull yourself back together, then face the day again.  Next time someone decided to create days, they should consult me as to how they should work.  Because a pause button on life would be fantastic.  Not to be sacrilegious or anything...just sayin.

Targ-et

I don't know what it is about Target, but I adore that store.  If a person could date and marry a store, I think I would pick Target.  I love all the shoes I ever buy there.  It was THE store we shopped at on my mission because you could get everything on your shopping list in one stop.

But tonight, Target and I almost had a falling out.  Target DIDN'T have what I needed.  A couple of the things that I needed.  I was disappointed.  I felt like Target was cheating on me in our fake-dating relationship.

Then I remembered it was a store and I went and checked out.

Don't worry Target, I'll be back.