For Corinne

Okay, Corinne, you motivated me. I'm going to post something about me that doesn't sound whiny, because I'm really not a whiner...it just seems like that.

I'm working on my mission papers. In fact, I'm almost done. I've got, like, two things to do and they'll be in. Then I don't know what comes next. I know that there are all kinds of interviews, but I don't know what they are or when I'll have to do them. All I know is that I am way excited to go and serve a mission. And I won't be taking classes in the fall. I know that too.

That's it for today, now on to being productive and finishing all my projects at work!!

Smiles

I've been contemplating this quite a lot lately...but have you ever noticed that when someone smiles at you, you can't help but smile back? And that sometimes, one smile can change your day? I love smiles. I love smiling at people and seeing if I can get them to cheer up. Also, I love taking note of when someone else's smile changes my day.

UGH

Today's word of the day is ugh. I hurt. This is not unusual, as lately my back has decided to secede from the union and is currently waging war on the rest of me. Or, in other words, it's freaking out and I don't know what to do. So I generally pretend that it doesn't exist. Today this is not working. It is if three or four other parts of my body are joining my back and recreating the Civil War as I sit at my desk at work and pretend that I look super cute. So, dear world, I am in pain. I want to cry. Actually, I want to go back to bed and see if a couple more hours of sleep will help my body calm down and do what it is supposed to. But none of those things are options. So I will be brave. But please pray that I'll feel better soon. I can use all the help I can get.

Confession...

I have a secret to confess. Sometimes I think that life is not fair. Really, really, really unfair. I think of all the dreams I had when I was little and how those dreams are never going to be realized. And then I stop and think of all of the new dreams I have now...and how I am MAKING those dreams happen. I am doing what I can to reach my dreams, and then I let God come in and make up the difference. I have been realizing more and more that our Savior's role as the Savior and Redeemer of mankind involves so much more than just his ability to forgive us of our sins. He is our Best Friend. He is there to comfort us in times of pain, of sorrow, of frustration, whatever it may be. He is there to celebrate with us when things go well. If you don't believe me, check out Alma 7:11-13. Isn't it nice to know that even when there is no one else you can turn to here, that you can turn to Him? That he is always ready to listen to your troubles and comfort you when you need comfort? I don't know if I could ask for a better Best Friend.

Bottled Up

Dear World...

There are a lot of emotions inside of me. They are all bottled up. Mostly because I don't have someone to share them with. Also because, and this is true, the people I do have that I could talk with don't want to hear some of the things I need to get out. So, if I suddenly explode in a mass of mangled up emotions, please bear with me. I'm working on it. I'm working through it. I'm smiling and finding joy. But there still is that part of me that longs to just spill my guts to someone who wants to listen to what I have to say.

Why is it so hard for us as human beings to listen to one another. To REALLY listen to what people are saying. To try to understand where they are coming from and what they are trying to get across. So often we hear only words and don't listen for the emotion attached to them. Or we chose to focus only on ourselves and not on others. My goal is to truly listen. To be the kind of person that you could talk to, the kind of person whose shoulder you can cry on. I can't give advice...I can't. But I can listen, sympathize, and then tell you a joke and make you laugh.

Have you ever noticed that laughing can make anything better. Oh, not all the way better, mind you, but it can take a hard day or a difficult situation and make it bearable. It can help you notice your blessings instead of your trials. So please, don't forget to laugh.

See...I told you I've been keeping things bottled up...

Home

I went home this weekend. I don't know if you know this about me, but I love going home. Don't get me wrong, P-town is great and I love my roommates. They are the best I've ever had. But...there is just something fantastic about going home. At home, I get reminded all day every day that I am loved. I get to cuddle with the cutest six year old in the entire world. I get to sit next to my mom and watch tv, knowing that whatever we do together, it is better than doing it apart. Some of you may not agree with me. Maybe your home is not as fantastic as mine is, and if not, I'm sorry. But I truly do love my home and everyone in it, and am so grateful that they love me back. So, thank goodness for three day weekends and being able to go home.

Christmas Music

So...I have something to admit. I have been listening to Christmas music since before Halloween. It started with my lovely roommate who for a week or so had an obsession with a Christmas CD--it was all she listened to. So, I gradually started listening to Christmas music. Normally, this is not the case. Up until this year, I have been a staunch "Christmas music shouldn't be played before Thanksgiving" kind of girl. But I rather like this new obsession with Christmas music. It means that every day as I am studying for a test or wasting time on Facebook, I am also listening to music that is all about the birth of Christ. I have started realizing that this is not such a bad thing--I am taking more time to think about my Savior and the impact that He has had on my life, about my goals and where they are taking me, and about just how loved I really am. So, even once Christmas is long past and a new year has started, I think that every once in a while I am going to turn off the Rascal Flatts or Michael Buble, and take some time to listen to something spiritual and ponder.

Me and my sexy man voice

Yup...it is that time of year again! For some reason, every winter I get sick at least once. Not just a cold mind you, but a cold with an insane cough, or whooping cough (yup, that made my entire junior year one big adventure let me tell you!), or this year, I have been lucky enough to get bronchitis. However, along with the coughing, the sleepiness and the general feeling of icky-ness, I am almost always lucky enough to get what I like to call my "sexy man voice." My roommate says I sound more like a goose, but I'm sticking with "sexy man voice." See, my voice drops like, I don't know, three octaves, and then it squeaks every so often. Awesome, right? See, there's always a silver lining...even if it is just being able to say that I've got my sexy man voice back! And if none of this makes sense...don't blame me, blame the cough medicine.

Dinner

I miss the days when I knew that dinner would be at six and that I wouldn't have to be the one making it. I miss home cooked meals. I miss the way that my family would all come together and eat, we would talk about our day, about school or work or whatever. Sunday dinners are the best because that is when we would talk about what we learned in church. I miss hearing what went on in Primary or what the lesson was about in Relief Society at home.

Now I sit in my bedroom and eat Pasta Roni while studying for a midterm, trying not to panic at the ten minutes I lost to studying while making dinner. I eat while listening to a lecture in class because I don't have time to eat my lunch before dashing off to another class or to work or wherever.

So, for all of you out there, take time to cherish those moments with your family. Maybe spend a couple more minutes around the dinner table, or talk to your mom while she makes dinner. Don't let those precious moments pass by. Because, while I LOVE my Pasta Roni, it can never replace those home cooked meals and family dinners.

A loss...

Goodness Gracious! It is always amazing to me the different things that affect people. Today I watched the first home game of the season here in Cougar Town. And yes, we lost. The sad part for me, however, wasn't the loss, but the fact that the "fans" weren't willing to sweat it out with the team. I could not believe the number of people who left the game early...not that that is a bad thing, but I would like to believe that a "fan" is someone who stands by their team through good times and bad. And so I stayed until the end of the game. I stayed and watched my team lose. I stayed and realized how much it stinks to be on the losing end of the cheering that goes on at a football game. I stayed, and I hope you did too. I'm not going to be cliche and say that the team needed this, or that we can all learn a valuable lesson. I just hope my team comes out stronger next week and better for their loss. I hope that we as Cougar fans can learn how to be good sports. I hope, in all honesty, that we win, but that we win as good sports.